Title holder: UNKNOWN. Price: MAKE OFFER

If you want to seek refuge from communists, Kenyans, queers, and city folk, and if you think beer's to drink and tea bags are about politics, then you'll appreciate the joy of living in Texas. This splintered fixer-upper might not be a bad choice. Located amidst oil refineries in Andrews County, the morning air carries the scent of gas ("eau de money," as the locals say). It may need more work than you'd expect. Nothing's perfect.